Tag Archive | agnostic

MOST Men are Assholes???

only assholes are in relationships?

only assholes are in relationships?

I was talking to a fellow atheist about my recent podcast when I began to reflect on the “women only want assholes” meme that we commonly accept as true.  I have addressed this concept before but it recently occurred to me that the idea is not only sexist toward women (women are insane, stupid  and self loathing  enough to only want relationships  with people who will mistreat them)  but to men as well.  How? Well, the very statement  implies that every male currently in a relationship MUST be an asshole. How could he not be?  Women only want assholes ergo, all men who are currently in relationships are assholes.

See how stupid that sounds —  how sexist it is towards men?

Are there women who get moist for bad boys?

You betcha.

There are guys who also love chasing down bad girls,  however, we don’t assume ALL men want  wild women because of the males who pursue such types.  Wild women on average tend to lean towards the bitch side of things. Do we also assume that these men must be lured by the bitch aspect or by the fun aspect?  I am willing to bet that these men like the fun aspect of the wild girl personality and the bitchiness happens to be and unfortunate off shoot of the character type.

Likewise, the women who enjoy  “bad boys” probably like the wild, fun aspect of their behavior–they are not DRAWN  to his asshole-I-ness. Only masochists enjoy being punished for punishment’s sake and I don’t think the majority of women are masochists–well, taking high heels shoes out of the equation of course.

Sadly, the very intellectuals who would normally see the idiocy of such a dumb, blanket ideology are the very ones who blindly embrace this fallacious social concept and adopt is as fact. Why? Because the concept is rooted in emotion and ego, not in facts or logic.  By and large most of the men and women, who say this stuff do so for their own motivations and are largely driven by fear, anger, rejection, and/or guilt.

Problem is, by using this concept as a fail safe , the guy who feels he is losing out because chicks only want dicks, is  not going to see where he may personally  be screwing up in the realm of interpersonal relationships. Is he abrasive? Self Centered?  Distant and Cold?  Too shy to be alive?   Doesn’t  bathe?  By consoling himself with the idea that is “those bitches fault” and not him, he finds himself  in a perpetual loop of self fulfilled prophecy, chasing after and being rejected by the opposite sex. He doesn’t see that he fails largely because he won’t accept where he may be at fault for his own issues.  Dude, if we are going to make women responsible for dating “jerks” why can’t men accept their own culpability in relationship choices and failures?

I was discussing this odd phenomenon with my hubby and I decided to do a Facebook analysis ratio on those who were in long term happy relationships and those in dysfunctional, unhappy ones.  We know only  of two ladies who are currently in messed up relationships with jerks.  However, the majority of the relationships were counted as happy by the couple’s own admission.  I have 284 friends, mostly consisting of relatives, distant relatives and friends ( some are there due to work and atheist affiliation) roughly 80 percent of the couples on my face book pages are in stable, loving relationships with great men and women.

Among those accounted as happy, I have my uncle Willie and his wife Vernis, Married for 47 years. On the  youthful end of things, I know of two twenty something  lovebirds who have been happily together since high school that recently married — they are sooo flipping cute, I love it!  Another young couple just had a lovely little baby girl with one of  the best men I know outside mah own hubster…that is just off the top of the head.

Could there be some in marriages that  are unhappy and not saying so? Sure, anything is possible,  but seeing as I have known these folks for years, there are often indicators of such things. Example, two of my friends recently broke up and the hubby and I saw this happening from a mile away.

I would say that most people  can probably do the same FB assessment and find that MOST women  are in good relationships with nice guys, and if you can’t do that, then dude, you need to change your circle of friends, stat, as you are surrounded by some rather jacked up folks!

Just sayin’ …

By and large though, the “all women want assholes” concept is hugely insulting a lot of great men who are good boyfriends, husbands and fathers. Stop slapping them in the face with this rhetoric. There will always be idiots who choose poorly in life. These immature individuals do not represent the whole  of a gender, nor should they be made to.




moody-compI did a new podcast that you guys may want to check out casue–well this shit pissed me the hell off:



Folks, I am hopping mad tonight, enough to post a new podcast ahead off schedule. I saw a video by a beautiful young atheist lady named Jaclyn Glenn where she examined the dumb ass claim that Christians, THE MAJORITY in this country, are being *sniff, sniff* victimized. In stupid, dishonest YOUTUBE vids like THE THAW and INDOCTRINATION they scream that people having the ability to vocally express beliefs counter their own is somehow keeping them from practicing their faiths. Funny thing too, since there is a church on every corner that no one is barring their way into. THIS from a group who sends out and amens mass emails about punching out professors they don’t agree with in the name of the lawd! THIS from individuals who send out forwards where the tagline reads., “We’re in the majority, so lets tell that 14 % to shut the hell up?” THEY ARE THE VICTIMS…???

Yeah, here’s the world’s tiniest violin for ya Hoss…

Tonight I am one mad as hell Southern Belle….



So, in case you’re wondering what I’ve been up to that has kept me from posting…been working on animations for the erotica company I do small vids for, but also managed to finish one for my own company, Luv Multimedia…check it mah peeps:

Will be posting a few new musings this week one about viral religious emails, another on the black church…Until then, love you guys!


A Bi Black Woman’s Journey Towards Skepticism

2012-11-25_05-13-46_752As my agnostic hubby recently pointed out, skepticism has always been hard-wired into my DNA. Still, as I grow older and I hope, wiser, I have to ponder the route that lead me towards self-imposed Christian rule in my younger days.

My youth was a convoluted jumbled mess that I will sort out as the blog rolls along. Suffice it to say my journey towards faith and, subsequently, away from it, was probably not the norm. I had no fanatical parents pushing me towards belief. I was merely a child seeking meaning to a chaotic, uncertain life. Mom and Dad were pendulum swings of diverse dysfunctions that I don’t think WordPress has enough space to write about, but hey, I loved them and they, me, in their way.

The folks often tried, with varying degrees of success, to balance their demons alongside the rearing of two young girls. Still, as I fumbled along, my world began to seem darkly wondrous yet also cold, and alienating. This was perhaps why, at the tender age of eight, I fell into the god trap.

How can I lie? I felt very happy for a time. Things were neat and ordered. I had all the answers I ever needed about my reason for being, my goals in life, what the purpose for existence was, at my pudgy wittle finger tips in the form of a kiddie bible given to me by a well meaning friend! Years flew by and MY BOOK OF BIBLE STORIES would later became a full-fledged leather-bound King James tome. As I matured, I was soon drawn to the musings of Voltaire, Aristotle, Thoreau, Dunbar, Hawthorne, Melville, Emerson. It was then that reason began to rear its head and whisper the kinds of things that rattle faith.

In my teens, as I awkwardly started walking towards young adulthood, a new voice emerged. It was this–this THING that kept knocking from behind my eyelids and yelling, “Damn, wake up girl…. you are better than this. Stop lowering your eyes, put up your dukes and confront the world head on!”

This voice grew louder, stronger as time wore on, so I decided to drown it via the bible, as I was certain it was simply Old Scratch trying to tempt me away from a loving god. Things pretty much went south from there. All I can say is this; nothing can create more atheists faster than actually sitting down and reading the ENTIRE bible. Which I did. Three times…oh the flashbacks! The VISIONS. Dah humanity!

Dude, I came across so much stuff that I simply couldn’t explain away that I had to put it aside for a time just to retain faith.

The mind fuck that haunted me the most can be found in the Book of Genesis 19:36 , namely:

Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father (KJV).

Now that was a big “say what”. You see, like most dutiful Christians, I had always stopped at the part where Lot’s wife was turned into pillar of salt. Don’t get me wrong, I always thought that was kind of jacked up but figured–well–God has his reason right…RIGHT?

But oh no, the story doesn’t end there. At some point, Lot’s daughters, sure that the end of the world had come, decide to get dear old dad drunk and have sex with him so they can get knocked up. They both bear him sons, Moab and Ammon, founders of the Ammonite and the Moabite nations.

Again–say what?

For yeeears that shizznit bothered me! I was like, “Hold up, hold up…sooooo, god destroys an ENTIRE CITY with fire from on high, the fabled Sodom and Gomorrah, for sexual immorality, but apparently thinks it is a-okay for two daughter’s to essentially rape dear ole dad and have kiddos with him?”

Oh yeeeah, biblical fucked-up-ed-ness did not end there, but again–Wordpress doesn’t have enough room…

With this kind of stuff pecking at me, I stumbled onwards with faith, even exploring numerous church denominations. Now, what did I do that for? This only blacked an already swollen eye…

It was in the churches that I noticed that pastors seemed to be willfully misrepresenting what the bible said. You see, having read the damned thing cover to cover three times, I could tell when quotes and verses were taken shamelessly out of context. Also, why was it that most preachers stopped just shy of the burning of Sodom and Gomorrah, but NONE OF THEM ever revealed that Lot had sex with his daughters. To date, it is the single most unknown fact of the bible. Most Christians do not even know it is there and will even TELL you that ain’t in the bible, even when you produce the actual verses…LOL!

To add all kinds of insult to injury, around this time, I was starting to notice that I was sexually attracted to both guys and gals, something frowned upon by many churches, although the good book never addresses this particular issue head on. Also, as black female, I grew alarmed by the sheer volume of churches that embraced doctrines fostering the idea that folks of dark skin were deserving of second class status. How curious is it, that a supposedly benevolent being would create a race of sentient, emotional beings just so they can be subservient to others. Even more curious, is how many black Christians appear to meekishly accept this doctrine either without question, or via willful ignorance.

Own a vulva? Furgittabout it! You were royally screwed in Yahweh based religions. Heck, MOST religions.

Fact after fact after fact began to pile up against the sanity of continuing on with a life philosophy that was so immoral and flawed. Now, more often than not, that once occasional, annoying little voice grew louder, and louder…

…and LOUDER.

I eventually encountered a crossroad where I had to face my fears and make a clear choice. I was, at that juncture, an admitted bisexual female quasi agnostic and Christianity was not longer an acceptable pathway towards truth for me.

To be fair, this knowledge didn’t mean I immediately called myself a skeptic or an atheist. I remained an “agnostic” for years until I finally had to admit that I simply do not believe in god concepts or claims.

It took a while, but, here I stand today, a loud, proud atheist and skeptic, as well as a humanist with a somewhat paradoxical misanthropic outlook. Indeed, I have this kind of love/hate with humanity that I need to resolve. I hope to get a place of balance and peace where love wins out the day.

To any Christians who stumble across this blog, do feel welcome to engage my little self in debate, but I will tell you right now that invocations of hell, blatant bigotry, or threats will not be tolerated. I don’t mind spirited discourse, but this little corner of the world is MY voice. Besides, there are more than enough Christian forums and blogs you can converge on to get your daily dose of hallelujah. You shan’t get that here, just straight talk with no hand holding. If you can deal with that, then have a seat.

Here, I am gonna talk about atheism as it affects me personally. I’ll also discuss political topics and dissect the kind of Christian apologetics that actually helped propel me further towards non belief. I invite conversations from any and all with a mind towards truth, so long as we can agree to disagree. Besides, conflict is the whetting stone of reason — it hones the wit and makes one more prone to seek out uncomfortable truths. This is my journey towards skepticism and the letting go of old habits that appear to die hard even after faith.

I invite any and all to walk with me, challenge me, argue with me, agree with me — laugh with me.

But mostly, I just want us to kinda sit on the dock of the bay and think about what makes us all human, cause, in the end, we still need one another, regardless of what we see when we look up at the sky.